I think more about things to fear than things to love. But that is changing. Slowly. I have adopted a fear centered view of the world, a slow squeezing into a mold-a way of thinking and behaving. Unfortunately most of that culture was never challenged by many of my early mentors- rather it was often taught. A fear centered worldview sees the world as a place to walk around in circles of worry, people pleasing, and regret...ultimately there are brain ruts that run deep, footprints where one step is a fear of success and the other a fear of failure.
Sometimes I wonder about the essence of bravery. Courage in the midst of great trouble, hardship, or misery. Bravery has many faces, a myriad of ways it can come breeze by our ear, peer at us through a crowd, shout down from the mountainside. It often does not appear as bravery to the trembling foot stepping outside the rut, pressing muscle to movement out of the circle of fear. It is forward with a great price...a shaking to the core- and it never "feels" right. There in the middle of it, the tornado swirling around our skin, is the essence of the step. It often feels young, and as it should be- it is the step of the child.
In my new business venture there are moments I step into the rut of fear again. Can I really do this? Will I have the right stuff to make it? Am I doing the right things to please the right people? I am developing business for a construction company and the world of construction is a very dynamic place, often filled with hard edges and harder people. Jesus built things and I think he knew this world well. What I have discovered is that I really enjoy finding things to build, renovate, and restore. My hope is that this evolves into building, renovating, and restoring people...including myself. But as all new ventures they can easily be sidetracked and hobbled by the uneven ground. But this time I am aware that there is a choice...and this is a new pathway of taking my Construction Brothers' hand out of the rut of fear onto the path of life. The LIFE I speak of is one of more than provision for what I need (which seems far away), it is abundant provision for all I need and want deeply in my soul (which seems even further away). A wise mentor of mine once told me that the Father has more than provision- He has Abundant Provision for his sons and daughters. It is the essence of "how much more"and it is the essence of bravery.
But when the child begins to trust their Father's hand for abundant provision, the Father's present strong and nurturing love punishes fear into the ground. If the child hangs onto the fear, and fear has a way of clutching, they cannot take hold of the Father's hand, and it can feel like the Father is punishing them. The child only needs to choose the very brave grasp of their Father and not let go of it. We are beckoned by our Brother Jesus not to cling to fear but to draw into the strong and tender chest of the Father. A fear-filled hand cannot hold onto anything else except the object of fear...even if it is only an idea of fear. When we grasp the hand of the Father we understand more and more the abundant provision of that hand. Often in his other hand He holds the keys to the Kingdom, His "Exceedingly More"Kingdom which He is very enthused to bestow to us.
I want to be brave everyday but so often I grow weary & tired clutching to fear. I want love but I know fear more. It is my old pathway and it is our culture...but it is not my True Heritage and not our True Family. Everyday we can be more brave than the previous day, we can trust we are sons and daughters...we can ask for the essence. Trust in the Abundant Provision of the Father begins with a brave question and yearning for the Father's hand to wrestle the fear away and bring sheer goodness with the other. The essence of Bravery.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Launch
I have a new tradition.
Yes a new way of seeing stuff...and for that matter a new way of living. "Really? A new tradition we need nothing of...and really is there anything new?" You may say or think this...or utter it in your subconscious- the fact is that we as Americans are suckers for the "new" and we have many "traditions" so I think this will work. Worry no more.
Launch. (Not lunch which was non-existent today except for a few corn nuts...didn't know they had nuts...don them nasty nuggets of death)
I am launching a new blog, a new address upon which to find it, a new face, even for all forsaken matters...a new something-or-other.
There will be new traditions spoken of here- new thoughts and ideas that may actually be very old, raggedy and "perceveratory" (my new word meaning to perceverate which is also a new word...meaning the act of thinking of all the angles, scopes, movements, and ounces of life.) Yes ounces, a friend of mine told me, is not a lot but it is also not a little. They are measured and that makes them cool. These traditions may also remain slightly recycled and retouched bits of stained glass, bloody dirt, damp wood...and maybe a bit of cutting metal.
I have no idea if these will be seen as new or old or slightly used...but I care not deeply about that.
Maybe you will join me for a bit of a glass of port, scotch, or fine beer?
Maybe you will join me for a cigar or a pipe?
Maybe you will join me just to listen in. I would really like that the most.
Onward. Launch. Play.
Cheers!
Yes a new way of seeing stuff...and for that matter a new way of living. "Really? A new tradition we need nothing of...and really is there anything new?" You may say or think this...or utter it in your subconscious- the fact is that we as Americans are suckers for the "new" and we have many "traditions" so I think this will work. Worry no more.
Launch. (Not lunch which was non-existent today except for a few corn nuts...didn't know they had nuts...don them nasty nuggets of death)
I am launching a new blog, a new address upon which to find it, a new face, even for all forsaken matters...a new something-or-other.
There will be new traditions spoken of here- new thoughts and ideas that may actually be very old, raggedy and "perceveratory" (my new word meaning to perceverate which is also a new word...meaning the act of thinking of all the angles, scopes, movements, and ounces of life.) Yes ounces, a friend of mine told me, is not a lot but it is also not a little. They are measured and that makes them cool. These traditions may also remain slightly recycled and retouched bits of stained glass, bloody dirt, damp wood...and maybe a bit of cutting metal.
I have no idea if these will be seen as new or old or slightly used...but I care not deeply about that.
Maybe you will join me for a bit of a glass of port, scotch, or fine beer?
Maybe you will join me for a cigar or a pipe?
Maybe you will join me just to listen in. I would really like that the most.
Onward. Launch. Play.
Cheers!
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