Motorcycle no...woman yes! Wisdom in process. The settling inside my heart has been one of remarkable and deep transitions. The growing confidence internal- the grace of the Father lavish. Elizabeth my fiance is by far the greatest gift of the Father but it is one that continues to expand beyond the words I can place here. Yet much of this love is a young oak tree, a small green flag in the ground, a tender root reaching out into the ancient soil of Love. She is a beautiful gift...one gift that is meant to be unwrapped slowly...and beauty is like that! Father- thanks for the woman!!
(Anyone that has been through significant loss, dreams shattered, can understand this process of leaving everything and everyone as you knew them- a death. I have had such a death. Yet I am blessed with sojourners that did not leave me, they did not abandon my side, they did not see the death only, they saw the life available and would not let me recede into hopelessness. They helped me leave a known world for the unknown...and my heart is deeply grateful for them. My fellow sojourners I have made it to the unknown other side of this valley...namaste. You will never be forgotten!)
Healing. Sometimes I am angry and I do not know why...but I possess some deep anger at myself. About a month ago I sensed a deep anger erupting from a basketball game that caused me to stop in my sweaty shoes, grab a towel and walk around to shake the heat. Not sure why the anger is there. The Father is pressing into this...an anger towards Nathan His son. This is new and this is not so new. One thing I know now is that I can hear it. I have been learning to be aware of such things because I am beloved...even if I am also angry at the beloved. The Father is calling out more and more sonship in me which means anger towards his son must go.
Repent. Today, with the Father's help, I repent...I turn from one direction and step towards another. From anger and step toward understanding, from hatred toward love, from judgement towards mercy. In my sonship spirit I know this will be good for the beloved son to stop beating upon his own breast. So Jesus, lead me your little angry brother, lead me to the strength, acceptance and tenderness you have in our Father...and stay with me until I become as you are...whole and holy.
P.S. Jesus my Brother, please remind our Father that I still want a blue motorcycle- one with flames on the tank!
